I’m watching Breathless and I remember now why I love it so much. ” If you don’t like the sea, if you don’t like the mountains, if you don’t like the city… then get stuffed!” Jean-Paul Belmondo is sexy as hell, but the direction, score and camerawork is what makes this flawless… okay, Belmondo and Jean Seberg are the perfect imperfect couple.
“Girls never have cash”
Saying I don’t know when I’ll be coming back again
It depends on how I’m feeling
Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way
I’m sure your mind is roaming
I’m sure your thoughts are not with me
But with the country to where you’re going
So take heed, take heed of the western wind
Take heed of the stormy weather
And yes, there’s something you can send back to me
Spanish boots of Spanish leather
- Bob Dylan
Day 07 - A song that describes your life.
Artist: Bob Dylan
Song: Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright
Bob Dylan brings me to another world.
I need to travel somewhere. I’m feeling stuck as of late. The other morning, I woke up day-dreaming about leaving this town; neither dreadful nor ugly, but practical and boring. I feel every inch of me craving something new, I want that feeling to erupt in the heart of me again. The feeling of excitement mingled with some anxiety, but always overcome by the joy and pleasure of experiencing something new. I would like to get on a plane to London, or spend the summer in Ireland. I’d like to prance around and absorb the romance of the Parisian world, and I’d like to step foot in enchanting Rome and be charmed by the liveliness. A road trip across America would suffice, in fact I believe the only way to truly experience America is through driving. It’s the only way you can appreciate the journey through the brash, free-spiritedness of a true American hippie. I went on a roadtrip with my family when I was nine years old. We drove through Washington, Nevada, I remember the lit up pink flamingos hung up on the side of a casino in Vegas. We took the route through Death Valley, and I was too much of a pansy to get out of the car, instead I peered out of the window into a vast, big hole like the Grand Canyon - but I still had the comfort of Air Con. San Francisco was like a dreamland, the pier stretched out before me for what seemed to be forever. Even when the weather was grey, there was something strangely planned about it. I felt like I was in another world. I barely remember anything significant about San Diego, besides the Zoo, which I can barely recall itself. Strangely enough, I was never enthralled by Disneyland. Everything was fake, pre-planned bullshit. It wasn’t a mythical, romantic, film-like environment like San Fran had been. But what I remember most prominently about this trip, wasn’t the excitement which comes from traveling, but the deterioration of my parent’s relationship. I remember in Los Angeles, for reasons I can’t recall, my mom left the car, slamming the door and swearing at my dad, in words I can’t remember. I do remember how she bought me lifesavers as a way to cheer me up. As if sugar could in some way compensate the tension between them. They hated each other, but put on a good face for the sake of their children. Maybe, it was my dad’s fault for having a horrible sense of direction and needing to be told everything twice. Or maybe it was the fact that we were spending thousands of dollars on a vacation, when my father owed thousands more to the bank. I wouldn’t find out until years later; the corruption which money brings towards middle-aged couples.
I hate being the one waiting. Waiting for a text, waiting for a call, waiting for something to happen. I have always been the one able to let it all go. Somewhere lurking inside of me there is the ability to shrug things off. All the loved ones who have left my life, their presence does not linger with me. In many regards I’m an extremely nostalgic person; always daydreaming about old memories -good and bad, yet those days long gone feel like a dream almost, like they have never happened. No matter where I am in life, I always feel like I’m looking back at a film documented on my life, as if these occurences never happened to me, but to someone else - a girl who was me but I have lost along the way. I like to move forward, I embrance change with open arms and have always had a desire for something new to enter my life. When it did, when he did, my feelings were pleasant, but now those days are long gone, and again I’m the one waiting. I can’t stand it, but at the same time I truly believe being alone is a godsend. When I’m alone, there are no expectations and no confusion that I can’t deal with. I hate mixed signals and I absolutely loathe having stronger feelings for someone than they have for me. Maybe, it’s because I have always been the one chased, I’ve always had guys asking for my number or to hang out earlier than this one. I guess I just despise anything that belittles my worth, because I know that there are others, but I had my eyes on the prize. No one impresses me anymore, and the one that did is fucking with me… maybe not intentionally but it doesn’t change the outcome. I always had that sense of power which I feel is being pulled to his direction, and I don’t appreciate it. Yet, I’m such a forgiver, every encounter we have, I wear a broad smile and act all non-chalant like nothing is a big deal. That’s how everyone sees me; all casual and laidback, not this empty befuddled person I have become. I see it all through clouds; the world, people, everything that is real in the moment will become a dream in the future. I get that dreadful sinking feeling in my heart whenever I think about this, because if the past is like a dream, how could I have lived? I know that everything that happened was real enough, but would it matter if it wasn’t?
Marjorie is an aimless socialite who spends most of her time partying in New York City and Simone is her charismatic, intellectual friend. Both are too cool to admit that they love each other. However, when Simone takes a trip to Madrid and does not return, Marjorie finds herself in Spain on a philosophical journey; searching for him and discovering herself. She meets a couple of travelers: two young men, as they vow to help her find Simone. Marjorie slowly drops her nonchalant attitude, and reveals her traumatic past, involving sexual harrassment and an eating disorder. When Marjorie finally admits that she is in love with Simone, it appears that her new friends are only interested in taking advantage of her. Marjorie, unable to leave until they get what they want, adopts her too-cool attitude and vows to never let it go. She returns to New York, seemingly the same girl, until she finds Simone sitting in her living room.
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But, then again too few to mention
My time is drenched in heineken, old films, new-old room, Love in the Time of Cholera, and staying warm with the help of more heineken
